We are fellow Cassandra Sisters on the recovery journey.
This free-to-use, open-source directory is a labor of love by Cassandras, for Cassandras.
Our mission is to curate as many Cassandra Syndrome recovery resources as possible here at your fingertips, to make your healing journey smoother, and to reassure you that you are not alone.
Let’s be clear: we are passionate advocates for neurodiversity education, awareness, and rights. This is not an ND-bashing forum. In fact, many of us have multiple neurodiverse friends and loved ones in our lives and wouldn’t have it any other way. We appreciate all of our differences and care deeply to understand and accommodate everyone as much as possible. However, there are times for non-ASD partners when our emotional wells are empty, our mental and physical batteries are drained, and we have, until now, suffered immense mental, emotional, and physical symptoms alone. This site is dedicated to replenishing our mental, emotional, and physical health so that we can enjoy our lives and our loved ones to the fullest.
We do not assert any opinion on whether to stay in our challenging relationships or to leave. We recognize this is a very personal journey and many of us are tasked with making extremely complex decisions. Instead, we encourage each person to access the tools and resources available in order to create as much joy in each day as we can—right where we are. It makes sense that as we restore our health and build up supports around us, we will be able to make those big decisions with much more clarity and security.
When many of us first discovered that there is a name for what we are experiencing (Ongoing Relationship Trauma, also known as Cassandra Syndrome), we felt a sense of relief that it’s not all in our heads. We began to notice a glimmer of hope that we hadn’t felt for so long—hope that we may be able to heal our bodies and spirits, and feel like ourselves again.
The trouble was, when we searched Google for help, there was little to nothing to be found that addressed our specific needs. Few people seemed to know about or acknowledge difficulties that arise for the non-ASD partners in neurodivergent relationships. We came to the painful realization that therapists we had trusted before had minimized our experience and had often been more harmful than helpful, not to mention costly. Many of our friends and loved ones had dismissed us because they had no way of knowing what we went through behind the scenes. We gradually discovered that there could be help for us after all, but the resources we found were sparse, and the handful of trained therapists who could address our unique issues were booked for months or years on end.
We stumbled into Facebook groups and online coaching courses, meeting other Cassandras from around the world who were in a similar place in their personal lives. Little by little we shared our stories and compared our experiences. For the first time, we felt seen and heard! Even though the specifics of our ND relationships vary so much, there are key elements we can all identify with, especially emotional deprivation. As the Cassandra communities and sisterhood grew, we shared books and articles, links, videos, and everything we found that could help each other.
Ours was the long way. Yours need not be so long.
Awareness of the Cassandra experience is growing every day, and along with increased awareness are coming more ND-relationship-trained service providers, more information published, and more tools. Darlings, help is on the way!
We are filling this public directory with all the things that helped us most (and still are helping), and we invite you to share, too.
